I miss him very much

I'm in a bad mood. I think is because I'm hungry. My stomach is connected to my brain is a very messy (wire-y) way, so whenever I'm hungry, either I'm very high or I'm in a bad mood. Plus, I'm missing him alot, right now.

It's been well, REALLY very long since we last hung out, since we last talked on the phone and well I really miss him and those moments. Even if I get to see him in school, it feels a little different, yeah. He's out now, and I'm going to get crazy soon. I must be struck by the Love God or either I'm suffering from the missing-him-too-much syndrome. Okay, I'm hearing things. I thought I heard someone knocking on the door and I went to check and realise there's no one there. Kami-sama, HELP ME.

Nevermind, I'd be a good girlfriend and I'd wait for him to reply. My hands are starting to get cold, right now. Well, it's pretty normal for my hands to be cold. I'm feeling pretty stressed about my courses right now. I wish there'd be some simple way that I can just be with him and them in the same class, next year.

Singapore's education system suck, man. I wish there'd be a change. No streaming. No separation from the ones we want to be with. Maybe life would be alot better, like that. No one would be sad. Okay, I'm getting a little weird. I'm moodswinging like a swing on auto-mode. I hope my mummy comes home soon with my brother and food and I hope he replies soon.

You know what. I have too much hope and too many wishes.

-

Okay, I just finished eating and he replied. I'm still feeling very cranky. Infact, my mood's gotten far more worse. I feel like fucking dying right now. I don't care if I go to Heaven or Hell, I don't care if he cares or not anymore. I really hate that bitch. She bloody screwed my life.

If I can't die, then I'd just kill her. I'd go to the jail for killing a person, but I don't really care about that anymore. I want her dead. Just fucking drop dead on the floor or maybe change your number, go pack your bag and live in India. As long as I'd never see you again, I'd be fine.

Stupid. JUST FUCKING DIE, bloody bitch. I hate you, I hate my life (appartenly) and you know what, I'm really sick of waiting. I really feel like crying, now.

My moodswings are like fucking crap. One time, I'm high, the another time I'm angry and guess what - I'm feeling depressed now. Send me to see a counsellor. I seriously need someone to talk sense into me, right now.

CAN YOU JUST REPLY TO ME RIGHT NOW, Boyfriend?
I'm not asking too much, am I?

You know what, I thought you told me..
You never want to make me wait again... Now, I'm really sad....

I don't want to think bad things. I don't want to be sad. I want us to happy. We changed, haven't we? We used to be really happy. I don't understand why we fight so much. I thought it was okay, because we settled things fast, but right now, it's tearing me apart inside. God, please give me your strength now. I can't let these tears fall down again, for him.

I need you to reply me,
I need you to call me and ask me if I'm alright,
and I need you by my side.

Now.