And this is goodbye ?

Maybe the chance my friends told me that he mentioned,wasn't really a chance. Maybe it was just a second,a second to see if I'm good enough for him. Seriously,him ignoring me makes me really frustrated. Today was fun - I tried to hide the sadness in my heart,because I knew he was going to come. So Benard,Ricky,me and him went to Benard's house to put our stuff and then Benard and him use bicycles,Ricky used skateboard while I used the scooter(no choice). We 'travelled' all the way from Woodlands to Admiratly and then to Sembawang Park.

We stopped at Admiratly to go to Ricky's parents' shop and got a bottle of water which we shared equally. The whole trip was really tiring. Ricky and me,honestly had a whale of a time,but I'm not too sure if Benard and him are exactly enjoying themselves. They seemed quite bored. But when we reached Sembawang Park,we went to the Ocean,I enjoyed the scenery and the breeze at the seaside,while Benard,Ricky and him went to dip their legs in the water. The sight was really funny. I wanted to take a photo of the three of them,but I forgotten all about it. Afterwards,Ricky went to the toilet,while Benard and him went to cycle back to Benard's house. I waited for Ricky and we took the bus and then the MRT back. Unfortunately,we reached later than Benard and him an they were complaining and I argued back,"Can't we take our own sweet time?"

Benard,unfortunately,mistook what I mean and started teasing Ricky and I but was cut off by him and his complaining of him being tired. It was weird because his facial expression was emotionless when Benard was teasing and I thought he would at least laughed at little since Benard was teasing his "brother". Oh yes,I got into a few almost-accidents on the road today. The guys,you know,are really carefree people and they just cross the roads,not caring if it's green/red. So I have to follow them,and I just scooter-ed my way through but it wasn't fast enough. Lots of honking sounds were made and a Lorry passed me at the view of my back. I remembered,when we were crossing,Benard already crossed and I was about to cross,my crush called out for me and in a way,he wanted to stop me,but I crossed. Other almost-accidents are pretty small and I need not blog about it. So,yeah,he's kinda ignoring me throughout the whole trip. He doesn't really care about me. Not that I expect him to.

The good thing about this trip was that we got to exercise and I got to bond more with Ricky. I'm really glad that we made ourselves exhausted,even if it kinda hurts seeing him ignoring me,I promise,I'm going to be fine. I want to sleep,dream of the good things that might never happen. I regret so many things and I hope he can have what he wants,even if it's not me. Afterall,I'm kinda used to getting hurt already. Oh yes,Ricky and me made a promise to get over our crushes. If someone doesn't,that person will have to treat the winner. I admit,I'm getting over him a little and I'm starting to treat like an ordinary classmate,but still the "scars" of being hurt badly still remains. It might never be erased,but maybe the happy things will overshadow it.

It's a good thing that there's going to a break until Thursday. I really need that break. To get over him and start things all-over again. I want to focus on my studies and definitely want to visit Primary School. I miss all my ex-classmates like hell and I'm wondering how they're doing in their Secondary schools.

Hopefully,life (the next few days) will seem better. Maybe,I will cope better without seeing him. So yeah,I'll stop blogging for here. I'm feeling extremely moody and plus I really want a warm hug !