Destiny pushes me Away

So he likes this pretty popular Secondary 2 girl. Absolutely no problem. And this is the time I start cursing myself why I still like him and can't get over him. Even if I act as though I don't like him anymore,deep down,I still do. I thought he was only crazy about this Secondary 2 Girl - like the relationships between fan girls and hot male celebrities. But I'm wrong. One of his friends was telling me,"Hey you know he likes someone" and I tell him the name of the Secondary 2 girl and his friend was shocked that I know. So yeah,it hurts,well,it's not a really big deal,i guess,time heals all wounds.

Sometimes,I wonder if he really did liked me before. If he ever really cared for me before? Like during that time,when I cried because of the scolding. Was he even concern? I guess not. Maybe he was trying to impress her and not me,afterall,he was only grinning at the sound of my name,that doesn't means a "Yes" or anything of that sort. So,I finally understand some aspects of a guy. Most of them tend to take into consideration the looks and size of the girl. And they don't know how much pain they have brought to another girl by doing so. The way he always peer outside the window whenever girls are outside,just saddens me and it really makes me feel really shaken. No matter how happy I can be,the moment I see girls passing by our class and him peering,I feel the sound of my heart breaking again. So,this question - Why does it hurt SO much ?

It's only puppy love anyway - no big deal and I find that I say no big deal to everything,when I know it's very much of a big deal. How stupid. -.-; Sigh,a change of topic will be better. Today has been a better day. School was normal,I borrowed one of my classmates' sister's malay costume,it was black from top to bottom and had two layers,so it felt really itchy and hot. I changed back to uniform after recess and well,after school,I went to Causeway with debate team members to meet up and discuss. Instead of discussing,we slacked and talked with some of our classmates. It's really fun,but we spent time "loitering" around the shopping mall and got treated to 7 Eleven snacks + drinks. Hahaha.

Unfortunately,I have to leave earlier,because I was planning to meet my whole family for dinner at 883. My sister got her hair trimmed,my dad cut his hair (he looks really good) :D and I got trimmed my eyebrows a little to make it more cleaner and "better-looking" . Lol. Dinner was quite alright,I felt really full,so I didn't really finish my bowl. Oh yes and did I mention I just ate my take away Fish Filet and it tastes wierd but at the same time,Yummy? :D

I feel bloated and pissed off at a certain classmate who gives my class' blog's username and password to 2 of her close friends from other classes. If I get really crazy,I might just report it to form teacher without letting her know,but I'll talk to her as soon as possible. It's a really stupid act and I thought she's a teacher's pet. She just doesn't understand simple concept. Class Blog - for students of that particular class to blog and NOT for other class' students to know the username and password.

Ohwell,there isn't really a need to get frustrated over trival matters. So I'll just let go and make her really tell the truth. I really abhor liars and betrayers.

-yawns- I'm getting sleepy already,would like to thank the guys and my debate team-mates for making the trip to Causeway nice (even though it was a little boring when we were loitering) . :) Have a nice night you all and sweet dreams in advance. Sayonara ~