You did it,I'm Gone

Sigh,I feel regretful about hurting my close friend. Somehow who I care so much for. He told me yesterday that he felt regretful for not letting her hold on to him. I'm not sure who is 'Her',but I remember when my classmate phoned him up to help me say sorry. She might have told him so secret stuff. Maybe she told him that I liked him for a short period before and he was regretful that he didn't let Me hold him back? Maybe so. But I strongly doubt it's me. No words can really explain how I feel right now. No matter how many times I say sorry,i can never really forgive myself.


I shouldn't have do anything that dumb. I should think twice before doing such actions. Oh well. What's done cannot be changed. Hopefully,the future wil be much brighter. Sigh. Tuesday - 6 June,is coming and still no contact of my crush. My hope is really dying and somehow,I'm really eager to call him myself,but i haven't really muster up the courage. Besides,not all the details of the birthday 'party' is planned out yet and he might feel irritated. But i'm not sure what he thinks of me. Maybe just a girl who entered his life,known as his classmate,and his friend. Maybe. I shouldn't ponder much about these matters. I'm going out tomorrow with a classmate to buy his present. I really hope i can get more money to be able to buy a wider range of things. I still remember buying this expensive present for my Primary 6 Form Teacher. Well,it was worth it. :)

As time slowly pass by,maybe I slowly realise that i should expose this girl who's inside of me all along. The mean and solemn side is just a facade. Maybe when i was young,I had doubts. Lots of doubts and was afraid to be taken advantage,so I build up this barrier to protect me. It's kinda like what cartoons do in battle. Well,I can still say I'm childish and i'm not totally grown-up yet. :P I want soft-toys for my birthday,even if my room is filled with plenty of them. I feel that soft-toys can collect lots of memories. Even the dirtiest and oldest one can tell you stories.

My birthday is coming in 26 days. I'm really excited. I hope I can really fulfill this wish of mine to make everyone happy. I have already made enough people hurt and I decided that I should be comitted to making my friends/people happy. I made a promise to that close friend of mine that I will always be there for him. Hopefully,it's a promise that i vow i will not break. :) When i meet with you on Tuesday,i'll make sure to smile the whole way,I'll think of good things,so that when you see me,instead of thinking bad things,you'll be thinking of good things. I really wish you can be happy. From the bottom of my heart.

Maybe i'm calling my classmate to clarify tomorrow's event. I really wish for everyone's happiness. Right now,the sky seems so dull. Maybe with the help of everyone,it can glow brightly. God,if you're listening to me,right now,I wish i can grant everyone happiness. Eternal happiness - If possible. :D

Anyway,lots of my friends call me to vote for Paul Twohill . I decided to check out a video from Felicia's blog and yeah,i admit,he's really cute in his unique way and his voice is awesome. :D I'm loving it and yes,i will root for him. Don't worry,you guys. Hahahaha. Here Without You - 3 Doors Down is a nice song. And yes,Paul sang it. Dude,he's awesome and I see his name almost everywhere i go. In my friend's nick,personal msgs,blogs and well,yeah,everywhere.

I want to go to the gym ! Burn some fats and yeah tire myself. The holidays are such a bore and if i'm stuck at home,i'll feel guilty for not doing homework. I'll finish all of them soon. I promise.

Alright,i will stop blogging for now. Take care all of you guys. :)