Shattered Facade

I see you in my dreams but nowhere near me in reality. .. okay this is extremely weird. I keep dreaming about secondary school and this certain guy,he's really cute. (^//^) And well we had our moments but the question that was circling around my head was if he really exist and will i be able to meet him next year?

It's a really complicated thing,actually,well all the things around me is complicated. -.-; But i just don't care,i think that when i'm stepping into Secondary School,i'l be crushless. I haven't been thinking of my ex-crush.. or maybe still my crush,for a really long period of time. Maybe it's because my mind was occuped with questions and doubts,but it's a really good thing. Missing my classmates is something that i have never thought i would be feeling. I thought that someone,like me,would just wave goodbye and then walk away,but it's the total opposite. The emotional part took over the strong part and that's the time i keep remembering the good times we have. :) 6 Peace forever ! That's what i want to remind myself.

Anyway,i finished making the two Sims that my sister and I,perfect in any and every way. They are top in their jobs,finished all of their skills and yeah,had two dream dates and tons of family friends. Now it's time for boredom to strike again. I might be still hogging the computer,creating a new family and controlling them again. Maybe,this time,a rebel. :P Haha,just kidding,that's my imagination. x)

Okay,back to the dreams. It sounds weird but at the same time,i feel really warm. At least,in my dreams,i have someone returning the feelings back.. well not really but giving me something that i always wanted when i have a crush. That's the best thing about the dream. :D Right now,i feel so excited about entering Secondary School,hopefully,there weren't be any sobby and popular girls to be my rivals. If there is,i'll give them a piece of me. Lalalala

Seems like i'm crapping again. Lol. Thinking of it,maybe all the things that my crush and I experienced are just illusions that my mind is making up and sometimes,it doesn't really exist. Like the chocolates,it might be just a trick or he pitys me because i have no one to like me back. It's just something that i haven't thought of when i was having a huge crush on him,but right now,everything seems to clear and i feel like the old me and not the new girl that i created. I used to remind myself over and over again that I NEVER will change for anyone,but thinking of what happened before,i feel like a stupid bimbo,it doesn't takes a new character to attract someone,it's what inside the person,that attracts someone. So much for changing.. lol.

-sighs- I just want to rewind time back when i was a toddler or somewhat a youngster,having no crush problems and leading my carefree life. Death never made any sense to me at such a tender age and right now,it makes a great impact. If someone were to die and he was my ex-crush,it leaves a great sadness in my heart and that sadness can never be erased. Maybe,the first time i was infatuated,it seemed like forever. Even now,i'm still thinking of my first crush. :) Call me childish and insane but i simply don't care.

I think that,now it's time for flashbacks and well it's the most sutiable time since i'm leaving my primary school and it's a good thing that it's filled with lots of nice memories that can try to cover up the bad ones. Much i hate my time in Primary School due to the bad memories and my hatred to some people but i also understand that even the bad make a part of my life,making me whole. (I hate saying this... >.>; I still hate those people i still hate,for your information. Lol. xD)

Well,this is a REALLY LONG entry. -yawns- Hope you guys understand what i'm crapping about. Mostly about nonsense. Lol. Later!