Who's Me ?

"The Getaway" - Hilary Duff

-sighs- The Cbox loads damn slow,so i'm real sorry. Anyway,my life's been quite complicated these days but i'll promise that i'll paste that trademark smile and continue with life. I just don't quite understand. Just because i'm frank and straight forward and sarcastic,that doesn't means i have no feelings or i am not sensitive !

So quit using those words. I just hate it and this is no offence but in anyway or no way you don't quite understand me. Everytime,i thought everyone understands me,i just realise that no one understands. What is THIS? Stop showing me that eye,i want to be isolated i don't want any company during Chinese Lesson,i'm fine by myself and as you can see i'm F.I.N.E ! Right now,i can't even say goodbye i don't know what to feel,i don't know what to do. I just want to be independent and i'm learning,gratefully. I wanna scream out loud and just show that face to her but i can't ! I seriously can't. Why am i that .. soft-hearted ?

It's not my nature to act like this. -sighs- NEVERMIND. As if i would be caught self-pitying myself and finding means and ways to make me and mysel feel depressed. At this very moment,i don't feel depressed not anything,i'm just misunderstood. I know i have a really good life,with good siblings,caring parents and a nice maid to add but please i'm not always that lucky and no one is unfortunate in this world,even those unfortunate one. They will at least have a miracle in their life! It's as if.. a sin to lead such a nice life.

Ahwells. I know people change but i don't wanna change,i wanna be remembered as someone who will stay strong to her family,friends and especially to herself. I don't want to doubt myself like i did last time and care too much,it's just history and i promise that it'll never repeat itself again. I'm reccuperating,that's good and sometimes i just wish to hide my face using a book so that my emotions won't escape.

I hate blabbering myself infront of myself so i'm smiling tomorrow,i don't wanna be questioned and neither do i want to be pitied. I'm not leading a sorrowful life,i'm just leading a normal life but with some cracks in between and i'm solving it myself. Thanks Sandy,Emelia and Karen,you guys really understand me. :) I'm glad to have BEST-friends like you guys. Rock on ~
So i better stop thinking that my life's a red light and continue and regard life as a green light,it's forever moving,depression is caused by our thoughts and not what happened. I know that and so i won't let my thoughts affect my mood which in turn will ruin everyone's mood. I'm gonna keep my darn mouth shut and smile LIKE i really mean it. So thanks to him too.

To that certain girl - Stop it,okay? Everytime i think you're gone,you show up ! What's that? Magic,eh ? No way ! You're just 'stalking' me,trying means and ways to make me feel isolated and depressed because i left you. NO WAY. I'm never going to regret my decesion. I'm happy with my friends and even if i feel isolated during Chinese Class,i have really superb friends during English Class which can easily turn my frown upside-down. This is a sin! He'll get you too,if you continue your stubborn 'plot'.

Okay,sorry for being angry,i'm not. :) I just wanna shout all my worries and doubts to clear my path. Thanks so much for reading,it might seem a little bit disheartening but please,remember depression is caused by your thoughts and not what's happening. ;) Bye for now.. I'll have to complete reading the Harry Potter book. ^^;