I'm FINE.
Feeling: F.i.n.e.
Listening: Crash & Burn
Well,today wasn't as bad as yesterday but thoughts seem to invade my mind as usual. Are those my really best friends? Why am i having so many conflicts and bad thoughts about them? Why can't i just directly think of them as my real best friends. I just seem to phrase these questions out to ask God.
I stayed back today to complete some work and to relief stress,well just making me relax my mind off. Then,i and my friends started talking and we got so engrossed into our conversation that we didn't see the time slipping past. Soon,it was 2.30,i just remembered him coming back from his chinese class at that time and i waited impatiently and also eagerly,hoping that he would turn up for the Science Lecture which was afterwards. After moments of waiting,he finally came and headed to the Basketball Court. My heart and thoughts just scattered. Am i suppose to call him back? I kept asking myself that and at that 'grief' moment,i was struggling with my guts and also my concern,i was told by my friends to go up to him since they all agreed that he will take my words and he did. I shouted his name from afar with traces of concern and he turned immediately,after hearing me warn him,he just got out of the court and signaled his friends to cease. I was,of course,delighted and never felt so great but at that moment my hope crashed when darkness took over.
Firstly,it started like a fairytale building up and we were laughing way too MUCH and soon it dropped. Sweet beginnings and bitter endings? I think a more better word would be better to describe the phrase that's been kept locked in my mind for the past few months. We headed up to the hall for our Lecture and i started drawing. My "friend" just came and then took the place,purposely.. blocking the space between me and my crush and obviously some other stuff. I was feeling really nasty that moment but nothing came out from my lips. I utter a word under my breath and then looked at her with flames in my eyes as she walked and picked another seat at the last row. -insert what happened during Science Lecture here- Nothing much to say about it,just jotting of the notes.
After the lecture,me,my god brother headed to the shop nearby with my friends,my friend shoued for my crush to join and he did willingly with my another friend tracking us. I was not really satifised but she had a reason. She went to the same tution class with him. The moment we entered the place,we started browsing for food/snacks. I grabbed a box of sweets(lemon mint) which was unlikely my taste and then paid for it. When he and my another friend exited the room,me and my god-brother were left. I decided to wait for him since he was walking the same way as me even though he told me to leave first. When we came to the void deck,they were there waiting and we walked together(along with my crush,my another friend & god-brother). Soon,they reached their tution place and have to leave me and my god-brother alone in peace,i waved goodbye to my friend and see him disappearing in sight. He turned and looked at me,somehow a feeling of hurt and jealous swept against our faces as we walked back in different directions.
Somehow,maybe i've been too selfish and i want to change that fact. SERIOUSLY. Well,gotta catch Shooting Stars and X-Men Evo afterwards. So adios! :D Oh yeah,i've created a sentence while walking back home which when he was there infront of me and my god-brother...
"Just tell them that i'm FINE and the world will turn upside-down leaving only hatred and jealousy behind."
Listening: Crash & Burn
Well,today wasn't as bad as yesterday but thoughts seem to invade my mind as usual. Are those my really best friends? Why am i having so many conflicts and bad thoughts about them? Why can't i just directly think of them as my real best friends. I just seem to phrase these questions out to ask God.
I stayed back today to complete some work and to relief stress,well just making me relax my mind off. Then,i and my friends started talking and we got so engrossed into our conversation that we didn't see the time slipping past. Soon,it was 2.30,i just remembered him coming back from his chinese class at that time and i waited impatiently and also eagerly,hoping that he would turn up for the Science Lecture which was afterwards. After moments of waiting,he finally came and headed to the Basketball Court. My heart and thoughts just scattered. Am i suppose to call him back? I kept asking myself that and at that 'grief' moment,i was struggling with my guts and also my concern,i was told by my friends to go up to him since they all agreed that he will take my words and he did. I shouted his name from afar with traces of concern and he turned immediately,after hearing me warn him,he just got out of the court and signaled his friends to cease. I was,of course,delighted and never felt so great but at that moment my hope crashed when darkness took over.
Firstly,it started like a fairytale building up and we were laughing way too MUCH and soon it dropped. Sweet beginnings and bitter endings? I think a more better word would be better to describe the phrase that's been kept locked in my mind for the past few months. We headed up to the hall for our Lecture and i started drawing. My "friend" just came and then took the place,purposely.. blocking the space between me and my crush and obviously some other stuff. I was feeling really nasty that moment but nothing came out from my lips. I utter a word under my breath and then looked at her with flames in my eyes as she walked and picked another seat at the last row. -insert what happened during Science Lecture here- Nothing much to say about it,just jotting of the notes.
After the lecture,me,my god brother headed to the shop nearby with my friends,my friend shoued for my crush to join and he did willingly with my another friend tracking us. I was not really satifised but she had a reason. She went to the same tution class with him. The moment we entered the place,we started browsing for food/snacks. I grabbed a box of sweets(lemon mint) which was unlikely my taste and then paid for it. When he and my another friend exited the room,me and my god-brother were left. I decided to wait for him since he was walking the same way as me even though he told me to leave first. When we came to the void deck,they were there waiting and we walked together(along with my crush,my another friend & god-brother). Soon,they reached their tution place and have to leave me and my god-brother alone in peace,i waved goodbye to my friend and see him disappearing in sight. He turned and looked at me,somehow a feeling of hurt and jealous swept against our faces as we walked back in different directions.
Somehow,maybe i've been too selfish and i want to change that fact. SERIOUSLY. Well,gotta catch Shooting Stars and X-Men Evo afterwards. So adios! :D Oh yeah,i've created a sentence while walking back home which when he was there infront of me and my god-brother...
"Just tell them that i'm FINE and the world will turn upside-down leaving only hatred and jealousy behind."
posted by Jacintha at
3:33 AM
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