Caught In The Middle
Currently Feeling : 
Currenly Listening To : Hold You Down - Jennifer Lopez
Chocolate. Haha. Thats the reason why i got sick today,maybe it was his fault but no,i believe it was mine. I should have made the right reason not to eat it immediately and share it with my siblings,if i didn't do that,i wouldn't end up like this. Im suffering from slight fever,stomach aches and sore throat. Its difficult to speak so i'd rather keep quiet for the time being. Oral is approaching and im having the urge to say something. Its funny how chocolates can really affect you but no matter. ;) Im just really plain bored and you can say exhausted due to my condition. But im still awake and if i ever close my eyes,maybe its time to drift to slumberland.
I wonder why i woke up really late today,maybe due to my conditon but no,i recall having a fantastic dream but it really hit me hard back to reality hearing someone calling my name. It must have been a neverending sweet dream but all good things have to come to an end so there you have it,me opening my eyes. It's been quite okay these few days and i kept questioning myself if im still playing the game of love. Maybe not,i've been really serious about PSLE and when im serious,i tend to have really major moodswing which happened this whole week. Im glad that my friends are able to tolerate it and the thing that i detest most about forming a group of 5 members is that one of them would be left out so thats what happen to my little clique. My friend,maybe tried to lean a cold shoulder to me and one of my best friends and as for the others,she didn't. She did this once before and said she regretted it. Why would she repeat herself when she already regret it. History repeats itself right again when its the wrong time. Im not sure if she wants us to pity her but all i know is that i and my friend did nothing wrong to deserve this. It was then,i realised that me and my friend were the one who apologised to my friend that fine day when the incident happened when we did nothing wrong. She didn't mustered up the courage to face us which made me have a different opinon about her. She said in her letter that she send me months ago that she really wanted to make friends with me but like this ? Its impossible,friendship has rocky moments,i know and by doing so,we'll learn more but that doesn't mean that we can have a better friendship using this 'rocky' way. I strongly disagree. Its not the appearance that matters now,its what inside the heart. I guess that its maybe that she thinks that we left her alone when she nodded her head and said its okay. We gave her a chance to partner up,leaving me alone controlling the class and she doubt it. Im not sure how im going to live.
From crush problem to health problem to friendship problem. I know i haven't been strong enough these few days but i want to cease all these sufferings,its blocking my bright future which i think im having,at least. Maybe,i should learn to understand people more and if it happens that she want to leave the group,i have to trust her decesion. She wants to,i'll let her. Afterall,friends do that but i don't want any rivarly thingy. I had enough of this. Even my rival before was much better than this. People change really and i admit it. I wish to see the old her back again. I've been with her for 3 years and i knew her really well i just wish that we could be more than what they call good friends. I trust that she's handling things correctly in her way so i won't blabber anymore. No offence made anyway. Im just maybe just spilling out whats on my heart so in that way,i'll feel better. I really want her back. Please,god. There are too much things in my life and maybe it was my fault that i done many bad things but my friend shouldn't be the one deserving all these. Its unfair,really. I think maybe it should be something more about me. Theres more to life. Maybe right now,im viewing the world with fresh eyes and i learn to be more smarter. I have to see things in a different way,just like examining an experiment.
Im not sure im walking the right road but all i know is that when im correct,my feet are on the ground and i won't do anything to aplogise. I just think that she needs some time alone to deal with the problems shes facing now and theres no way i can avoid her,i see her everday in school and we even sit at the same table for recess. Its impossible,i know so im giving her some time of her own to decide and tell us. I might be really stubborn to leave a friend in need alone but we all are independent in our own special way. I believe she has a bright future ahead if she mix with the correct company. Maybe she is trying to tell us that we're not mixing with the right now and just because me and my friend are also ganging with other girls doesn't means that i hate my real clique. They are the one who shed light to my life,alright. Easier said.
Anyway,i guess i better stop here for now. Theres nothing much i want to say. Ciao !
Currenly Listening To : Hold You Down - Jennifer Lopez
Chocolate. Haha. Thats the reason why i got sick today,maybe it was his fault but no,i believe it was mine. I should have made the right reason not to eat it immediately and share it with my siblings,if i didn't do that,i wouldn't end up like this. Im suffering from slight fever,stomach aches and sore throat. Its difficult to speak so i'd rather keep quiet for the time being. Oral is approaching and im having the urge to say something. Its funny how chocolates can really affect you but no matter. ;) Im just really plain bored and you can say exhausted due to my condition. But im still awake and if i ever close my eyes,maybe its time to drift to slumberland.
I wonder why i woke up really late today,maybe due to my conditon but no,i recall having a fantastic dream but it really hit me hard back to reality hearing someone calling my name. It must have been a neverending sweet dream but all good things have to come to an end so there you have it,me opening my eyes. It's been quite okay these few days and i kept questioning myself if im still playing the game of love. Maybe not,i've been really serious about PSLE and when im serious,i tend to have really major moodswing which happened this whole week. Im glad that my friends are able to tolerate it and the thing that i detest most about forming a group of 5 members is that one of them would be left out so thats what happen to my little clique. My friend,maybe tried to lean a cold shoulder to me and one of my best friends and as for the others,she didn't. She did this once before and said she regretted it. Why would she repeat herself when she already regret it. History repeats itself right again when its the wrong time. Im not sure if she wants us to pity her but all i know is that i and my friend did nothing wrong to deserve this. It was then,i realised that me and my friend were the one who apologised to my friend that fine day when the incident happened when we did nothing wrong. She didn't mustered up the courage to face us which made me have a different opinon about her. She said in her letter that she send me months ago that she really wanted to make friends with me but like this ? Its impossible,friendship has rocky moments,i know and by doing so,we'll learn more but that doesn't mean that we can have a better friendship using this 'rocky' way. I strongly disagree. Its not the appearance that matters now,its what inside the heart. I guess that its maybe that she thinks that we left her alone when she nodded her head and said its okay. We gave her a chance to partner up,leaving me alone controlling the class and she doubt it. Im not sure how im going to live.
From crush problem to health problem to friendship problem. I know i haven't been strong enough these few days but i want to cease all these sufferings,its blocking my bright future which i think im having,at least. Maybe,i should learn to understand people more and if it happens that she want to leave the group,i have to trust her decesion. She wants to,i'll let her. Afterall,friends do that but i don't want any rivarly thingy. I had enough of this. Even my rival before was much better than this. People change really and i admit it. I wish to see the old her back again. I've been with her for 3 years and i knew her really well i just wish that we could be more than what they call good friends. I trust that she's handling things correctly in her way so i won't blabber anymore. No offence made anyway. Im just maybe just spilling out whats on my heart so in that way,i'll feel better. I really want her back. Please,god. There are too much things in my life and maybe it was my fault that i done many bad things but my friend shouldn't be the one deserving all these. Its unfair,really. I think maybe it should be something more about me. Theres more to life. Maybe right now,im viewing the world with fresh eyes and i learn to be more smarter. I have to see things in a different way,just like examining an experiment.
Im not sure im walking the right road but all i know is that when im correct,my feet are on the ground and i won't do anything to aplogise. I just think that she needs some time alone to deal with the problems shes facing now and theres no way i can avoid her,i see her everday in school and we even sit at the same table for recess. Its impossible,i know so im giving her some time of her own to decide and tell us. I might be really stubborn to leave a friend in need alone but we all are independent in our own special way. I believe she has a bright future ahead if she mix with the correct company. Maybe she is trying to tell us that we're not mixing with the right now and just because me and my friend are also ganging with other girls doesn't means that i hate my real clique. They are the one who shed light to my life,alright. Easier said.
Anyway,i guess i better stop here for now. Theres nothing much i want to say. Ciao !
posted by Jacintha at
2:23 AM
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